Zach's Lookout
Date Hiked: August 16th, 2025
Trail Hiked: Zach's Lookout, U1100 and Dickerson Falls Loop
Distance Hiked: 9.70 miles
Elevation Gain: 1191 ft.
Duration: 3h 1m
It's a good thing Zach made a lookout, because otherwise this would be a mildly difficult hill in the Kitsap area without much of a payoff. I mean, other than the stats and gains, but usually the reward of a good climb is the view from the top, so say "yo Zach, what's up, thanks for the lookout" or whatever the kids say these days, because it's the only one you're going to get on this hike.
The visibility was grand this day, the exact opposite of when I reached the top of Mount Walker and was lucky I could even see my own hand holding the camera when I was taking photographs. This was another one of the days where I wanted a good hike, a decent climb, and a pleasant distraction from the soul-sucking void deep within the Sickness that permeated the essence of my being at the time, but I also didn't feel like traveling very far. Fortunately, in Washington state, only driving five minutes can result in a gorgeous view for "only" an 1200 ft. climb on a Friday with perfect weather. In the Twin Cities, five minutes away for a hike usually means Greenways, traffic noise, and wondering if the scowling dude walking toward you just disappeared your neighbor with impunity. Oh, 2026, what the hell even are you?
The most notable thing to happen on this particular hike wasn't even the trek itself though. This trail climbs up a hillside before it does a little loop atop the Zach-flavored lookout point. While on that hilltop loop, I found a set of keys with a Seahawks emblem on the chain. Oh good, that would only narrow down the owner of the missing go-go sticks by absolutely nobody, how fortunate for me.
Luckily, the next two lovely ladies I encountered were the winners of the Showcase Keysdown, so Zach must've been looking out for them too, since the eponymous view was where we briefly met. They didn't have to call a locksmith to a parking lot, I got a momentary reprieve from the maelstrom of self-loathing and regret that wouldn't lift until the Sickness went away a short time later. Everybody got a little shot of dopamine unexpectedly that day is what I'm saying.
This hike is perfectly fine, by Washington state standards anyway. In most other places, it'd be flooded every weekend with Zach fans and their fancy eyeglasses peering over the single spot where one could see beyond the treeline. There'd still be the straight couple who held up the line by taking 38 indistinguishable selfies (there's always one), but otherwise it'd get a solid 4.5/5 most likely. But, since it is in Washington state, I'd mostly recommend it only if you're near Bremerton, you don't want or need to travel longer than an episode of Zack Morris is Trash, and you want a hike that's good for the moment but you'll forget about it before you get back to the car.
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