The Great Wander of 2026
Before you accuse me of being lazy for knocking off the second state this close to my home area, hear me out.
Something sucked out my mind and replaced it with stupid on this day, and I did the best I could without completely losing it.
My first true wander in years started off with buggering it up no less than five times just simply trying to find my way to saying goodbye to someone. I went to the wrong branch of the restaurant, then got off the wrong exit (twice) trying to get to their partners’ place (that I’ve driven to no less than seven times), missed the turn to get back on the 94, and parked in the wrong spot trying to use a gender neutral restroom on the way out. By the time I reached the last part of that series of shenanigans, I conceded my own mental state to hike through a tourist town on a holiday Sunday, put on my headphones and my “shit is way too fucking bright” sunglasses, and ignored everyone and everything until I completed it.
Half of it is in Wisconsin, and I parked on the Houlton side, so it counts. I hiked in the second state on my list. I even stopped in Beloit to do an Adventure Lab for all of .3 miles later, so if this one doesn’t count, I’ll combine the both for the technicality of the checklist I completely made up.
I’ve hiked the Stillwater loop more times than nearly any other trail in Minnesota, even before I really considered myself a hiker at all. It’s a lovely trail, albeit a heavily-touristed one, as it crosses two impressive bridges to complete the loop. Granted, one is the iconic lift bridge, so it’s vastly more appealing. The other is a beautiful suspension bridge that would be wonderful for hiking and the views as it ascends (or descends, depending on the direction of travel) over the St. Croix Valley into/out of Wisconsin, but what ruins it is not just the amount of traffic, but how loud said traffic is. Nothing quite says “escape into nature” like Dale and his souped up F-150 that’s like all his other friends’ souped up F-150s in order to showcase how he’s a rebel and a unique individual, floor it while crossing lanes and making sure to own the libs with that sick, sick obnoxiously loud engine designed to do nothing more than tell who he is as a person in enginicular form.
But, after screwing up five times, which is five more times than I usually do while traveling (I wasn’t called the human GPS for my tendency to make navigational errors), I really didn’t care about anything but putting in a few miles and doing a hard reset on this Great Wander of 2026. Got it out of the way, headed to Chicago once again as my first resting point, and put some miles and a pushpin on the map.
