Minnesota Hiking Club #13 - Temperance River State Park

 

Minnesota Hiking Club

#13 - Temperance River State Park

Date Hiked: January 4th, 2025

Other Hikes That Day: Tettegouche State Park, Cascade River State Park

Wanderloon Ranking System Score: 4.08

Hey, let's pick up right where we left off, except this is where shit gets real. 

I put on my ice spikes for the first time, figuring it out from the vague and confusing instruction graphic. I'd never used them before and I picked a hell of a day and park to hope like hell that they worked. After doing the world's coldest Slip 'N' Slide over Tettegouche State Park's Hiking Club trail, Temperance River State Park loomed ominously right off the 61, and it was clear from the parking lot that I either had to decide if I wanted to play golf or fuck around. 

This trail is a shade over two miles, but don't let that deceive you into thinking this is a quick trek, even without a polar vortex and enough ice to make you think the glaciers haven't actually retreated. There's over 200 feet of elevation gain, but there's a difference between going uphill and climbing steps carved out of smooth volcanic rock ancient river bed, next to an active river with a waterfall that's carved out of  the stone over a hundred feet straight down. One slip and you're suddenly part of the scenery. "There's the frozen waterfall, here's where a waterfall once was, there's an awkward hiker frozen in place who fucked around and found out during a polar vortex on a trail with dangerously smooth volcanic rock, steep elevation, and was 100 percent covered in ice." I once again reiterate that I'm not saying this was a good or wise decision, but I woke up feeling dangerous. I probably made it even more dangerous because I didn't tell my people what I was doing, but that was part of the process. They were all doing things with their people, and I had a feeling they'd try to talk me out of it, whether for the temperature, ice, or any other factor that went into it, and I didn't want them to have the chance. I didn't want to be talked out of it, and I didn't want them worrying about me, or thinking about me at all while I was doing this. This was my confrontation with the demons inside my head, and I gave them a double bird and told them where they could go and what they could do. 

This Hiking Club trail is goddamn majestic. Its two-plus miles feel like an ice-induced transformation, starting and finishing next to a frozen waterfall deep within jagged rock, going back and sampling a bit of that sweet Superior Hiking Trail goodness, and then descending steps nearly straight down, covered in several inches of ice, just waiting for the opportunity to teach you the error of your ways. 

I told my people what I did only after this day's hikes were done. I still had one to go, and it would be the hardest one of the three. I woke up feeling dangerous, and my demons got their asses kicked. 

My challenge: I won.